JaneHumen.Webs.Com

How long has it been since I last posted a blog...or updated this site's content AT ALL?

Over two months.

I'm failing in my duty as a webmistress, guys...

Really, you should all just slap me. I have a lot of semi-legit excuses for not posting. School, writing, the fact that I saw New Moon on Friday-- *pauses for a moment to squeal over Taylor Lautner*--which, by the way, was DEFINITELY better than Twilight.

Give Chris Weitz a raise! Better yet, let him direct Breaking Dawn! *pauses again to dodge rotten tomatoes that are being thrown*

All right, enough about that.

Um, how are you all, my 11 site members? Wait, 10 site members, I think I counted myself in that. Oops.

I'm doing well. I guess I haven't been feeling the urge to blog so much as I usually do...I consider myself a novelist and fanfictioner at heart. Blogging has always seemed pretty mundane to me, unless it's used as a journaling type thing. Even that is boring, because I have a fairly average life. Granted, some people are bloggers, and that's what they do--keep a blog and make it interesting for people to keep an eye on.

Like I said, that's  not the kind of writer I am. I'm far more suited to the task of weaving tales in my head, creating fiction that sometimes vastly differs from personal experience.

I'm not a blogger, or much of a "webbie". But that's okay, right? My website isn't anywhere near as spiffy as http://www.heatherezell.com or http://www.mallorymaloney.com, but hey--to each her own.

I'm perfectly content with owning a free subdomain, pre-coded layouts, and surviving on my own scanty knowhow. 

Maybe someday, this site will expand and become a "real" domain. Maybe not. As long as I'm happy with it, and my users can enjoy it, that's what matters.

Because after all, life is about more than just blogging.

Hello again...

I'm alive.

Really.

I had to take a hiatus from updating this site for several reasons:

-I've been writing.

-I've been reading.

-I started school a little over a week ago.

Yes, I'm now a freshman in high school. Happy, happy times.

....Well, I guess.

Rather than trying to do "update" type blogs, I'm going to be posting book reviews!

All important updates will be located on the home page under my photo.

Or, if you don't mind the occasional fangirl moment, you can follow me on Twitter:

http://www.twitter.com/JaneHumen

The first book review should be posted in a week. I'll be reviewing The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins and move on to;

-Bran Hambric: The Farfield Curse by Kaleb Nation

-My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult

-The Vast Fields of Ordinary by Nick Burd

Also, if you're a member of my site, you're automatically added to my mailing list. Every month to six weeks (normally) I'll send a short newsletter to you via email. To receive this newsletter, you have to become a member of janehumen.webs.com; otherwise I won't have an email address to send it to!

I've added a forum where you can talk about...pretty much anything. I started the first topic for my novel, Domeland, but it's looking pretty lonely...feel free to make a post!

XOXOXO

Jane

Hey guys. I have exciting news!

I just made a saynow.com account. Now you can leave me voice messages, which I will respond to.

To send me a voice message via SAYNOW, call:

1-253-200-0081

For those who are worried about stalkers:

THIS IS A FAKE phone number, but it still links to my real cell phone. That way, I get the messages you send me.

So what are you waiting for?! CALL ME! I haven't set a greeting up yet, but I will soon

Enjoy it!

 *mumbling to myself* ...Backlash is a word, right? Maybe I'm thinking of backWASH. Uh...

*person in distance* Er...ma'm? Excuse me?

Oh, hi! I didn't see you there. On with the blog!

This evening, I was taking a shower, just minding my own beeswax. Well, the shower poltergriest decided to play around tonight. As I was putting shampoo in my hair, the water pressure began to dwindle. Swearing, I immediately turned around and began to pound on the faucet with my fist. Unfortunately, this had the opposite effect of what I desired. Instead of spouting water, as I'd hoped it would, the showerhead creaked and then completely ceased to produce water. Now yelping a colorful stream of profanities, I jumped out of the shower, glancing at the tiled bay warily. At that point, I was just terrified that the entire setup was going to explode and shatter its cement bindings. Standing on my parents bathroom floor, with a soggy, too-short towel wrapped around my quivering body and shampoo caked on the left side of my head, I shook my fist at the celling and cursed the injustice of daily life in a big city. In my neighborhood, if too many people shower at once, one unlucky house will reicieve no flow in their pipes. It's a really annoying game of Russian Roulette. As I stood there shouting odd phrases like, "Son of a dingbat!" towards my shower, the water blasted to life. At first I was relieved, and then horrified. I'd LEFT THE SHOWER DOOR OPEN. Water was pouring from the spout with a force I've not once witnessed in our six years of living here. The entire bathroom floor was soon covered in water. Bottles of shampoo bobbed along in the sudden deluge, floating off to other corners of the room. As I ran around, trying to dry the floor and grab runaway (or floataway?) containers, my towel slipped down to my ankles. RIGHT when this happened, my father opened the door.

Stark naked and dripping wet, I slowly swiveled around to face him, waving sheepishly.

His hand covered his mouth, and he was beet red.

"What the HELL." It wasn't a question, but a shocked statement.

"Er. hi, Dad," I mumbled, flushed with embarrasment. "I'm just...showering?"

He nodded, looking skeptical. "Um, right." Before I had time to fling out a witty response, the door banged shut.

I sank to the floor, suddenly overcome by helpless laughter. The whole situation was ridiculous. I put my head under the tap, finished rinsing my hair, and stalked off to my room, intending to forget that miserable half hour of my life.

But--since fate is feeling especially catty tonight--I remembered my website, and decided it would only make sense to share this rather pathetic tale with you.

FML. Back to reading!

I have never enjoyed sour candy. But just a few minutes ago, my sister pulled out leftover Easter candy...

The first thing she and my friend found was a small plastic package, containing this cluster of candy. I pulled out one of the small wrapped balls and examined it with a dubious look.

"What ARE these?" I said. Then I read the label as massive gagging erupted behind me.

Extreme Warheads.

My friend's face had scrunched up into impossible curves, and my sister had sprawled across my bed, gasping.

"Try...one..." Claire croaked, still coughing.

Figuring I could handle the taste bud torture, I opened a safe-looking blue rasberry candy and popped it into my mouth.

Sourness exploded across every inch of my tongue with all the acidity of vomit. I had to swallow to keep myself from gagging.

"It will turn sweet in a second," my friend coached.

Finally, mercifully, sugary molecules swamped the puke taste. I bit into the candy with a weak smile, still dry-mouthed.

Don't offer me sour candy. I can't handle it.

Is that white, glowing ball in the blue sky REALLY the sun? And is the sky really such a gorgeous color of blue, when it has been such a dreary gray monochrome since early October?!

Yes, folks, Spring has finally hit Washington. It's about a month late, but you know my philosophy when it comes to good weather...

Hurry the ##$% up already?

No, no. I was thinking something along the lines of "Better late than never!"

Regardless, I'm still pretty sure that I'd be better suited in a warm climate. Florida's too humid, and Arizona's too dry...

Oh, whatever. The whole point of this blog was to post pictures of my time spent in yesterday's sunshine!

Light is a rare, rare sight in May if you live in the Pacific Northwest.

This is in bullets. I'm lazy. Blaming the hormones.

-I just finished City of Bones by Cassandra Clare. I highly reccomend both Cassandra's books, and her collection of tips for beginning writers like myself.

-I am now registered on blip.fm, a music streaming site. http://blip.fm/janehumen

-After a two week hiatus (where I focused my writing energies on Twilight fanfiction, thanks to the pestering of my fanbase), I am ready to continue working on Domeland. Wish me luck!

-SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER! Exactly one month. Freedom is so close I can taste it.

Have an awesome day! Questions and comments should be directed to janehumen@gmail.com!

My book, hopefully, will be one of those novels that flips your life upside down and puts your soul into a backward orbit. Maybe I'm being too ambitious for 14, but I don't care. The concept of my story is obviously an original one-the kind of thing that will probably, hopefully be a big name in the sci-fi section of B&N someday.
Yeah, I may have made Brian somewhat like an oddball, troubled guy-but I've known a lot of troubled people in my life, and know how they act. There are issues in this world-including underage drinking and several other things you'll see while reading DL-that need to be brought to light, and I feel that if Domeland is a YA novel, then I can try to inform teens whilst telling a good story.
=]

I have nothing to say. Well, that's not true...I have everything to say, just nothing that would catch anyone's attention.

What's truly entertaining is some of the things you'll see in my Livejournal. I'll post something cool in the future, I hope.